MORE ABOUT WORKING MOMS

MORE ABOUT WORKING MOMS

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Edited February 3, 1999 (David W. Cloud, Fundamental Baptist Information Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061-0368, fbns@wayoflife.org) - I received the following excellent comments in response to my article "Should Mothers Work?" These comments remind us of how complicated and far-reaching this topic is. I will conclude with additional comments of my own.

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Well done, on a tough, and important issue. People wanting to separate because pastors don't preach against working moms is not the typical problem. The typical and larger problem is mothers (I'd say of children less than 12 years) outside the home, under the influence of a man not their husband, not keepers of their own home, and not helpmeets to their own husband.

We are way too casual about wives getting into such situations. I think the motive for wives to work, and husbands that go along, is similar in many cases to the motive for abortion on demand.

Warm Regards in Christ,

Pastor Brian Tousley <btousley@fretel.com>

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Dear Bro. Cloud,

Thank you for your ongoing ministry. Your writing certainly engenders discussion and challenges us to study more thoroughly. I respond to the aforementioned article that you sent as a pastor who is concerned for my own flock and for the direction of the church and our influence on society as a whole.

On the whole your response is on target. The initial couple was (from the limited information included) clearly wrong. They were not practicing Biblical separation but carnal schism. They were being divisive for personal reasons which probably go much deeper than what was listed. Based on my experience I am sure that they quickly found something else wrong at the next church as well. When immature Christians try to practice discernment without any spiritual perspective in which to couch it they often end up sounding petty. Young Christians are allowed immaturity but need to be warned to be humble (as you indicated) and submitted to God's authority in the church.

As to the issue of "Should Mothers Work?" -- the title needs a serious rewrite. Look at it! Like your wife my wife retired from nursing when our oldest was on the way. She has never worked harder since our first of four bundles of joy came into our lives. Your answer that the scripture passages mentioned did not necessarily exclude work outside the home was reasonably on target. I share a concern for the children of our generation who have been parked in "day-time orphanages" for the convenience of the parents. There are entirely too many mothers entering the work force for reasons that endanger the future of our homes, churches and nation. However any reasonable student of the Bible would be hard pressed to deny that the Proverbs 31 woman did not work outside the home. If business activities aren't described there then I don't understand what it is saying. Of course these activities are reasonably related to her taking care of and providing for the needs of her home and family!

She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She giirdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

The word "merchandise" in verse 18 refers to profit from trade. Some of the problems within fundamentalism come from people emphasizing the external (like the Pharisees?) and missing the weightier matters of the law. Clearly, this woman traded outside of her home for the benefit of her home. Can a woman labor outside of her home for the benefit of her home? This scripture reasonably allows it and seems to refer to it as the normal practice of the virtuous woman. The problem today is not women working outside the home. Rather it is women who have abandoned their home. That the work place is filled with these women is the symptom not the cause! These women have rebelled against their God given role of taking care of their family. You could force them out of the work place and back into the home but that will not make our homes a better place. Only one thing will make our homes a better place. When they yield themselves to God's authority in this and all matters will the picture begin to dramatically refocus and improve! There are other passages which can be pointed out which also show Biblical women working outside the home and still fulfilling their God-given roles. (Lydia - Acts 16 certainly seems to indicate a wealthy devout business woman)

Truly it could be legitimately stated that the woman in the work force for the wrong reasons and the family who rebelled against their church leadership had the same problem! Hmmm?

Thanks,

Pastor Jonathan Tillman <jtillman@pa.net>

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Dear Bro. Cloud,

Thank you for all the great articles you send by e-mail. I am very proud of you and support you 100%.

Just one idea about "mothers working." And I will be brief, as I am on my way to work. And I'm sure that you have thought about this:

Another problem with women working outside the home is that no one is available to help others when they have problems, whether they be women in the church or their own grown up children.

One time, when my wife had to go to the hospital to have a baby, we called all over the church to find one older woman who did not have children of her own and who did not work a job outside her home. We had a time finding someone who was not out making money so they could have more money to spend.

I find that most women working outside the home, even if their own kids have grown up, are doing it to help pay bills, whether it be for their older kids' college tuition or for a bigger house (which they don't need as much as they did when the kids were at home--unless it is for all the in-laws and grandchildren), or for a new car or a swimming pool, a baby grand piano, or a grandfather clock, etc, etc.

My main point is, that if the father is still able to work, it is a great ministry for a mother whose kids are grown to make herself available to help other ladies in the church, or for her own grown up kids, by not going out to work.

Say, for example, a non working mother whose children are grown could perhaps start a home Bible-study so that she can ‘teach the younger women’ the things they are supposed to know, or go to help in someone else’s home for a day or two, when the need is especially great, etc.

Another ministry that my own wife has, is to go help our married kids with their children, our grandchildren, as the need arises.

If my wife were trying to hold down a job and the related responsibilities, she would not be able to help our grown up kids with their emergency needs. And all our grown up, married kids live in other towns, pretty far away.

Like I say, I'm sure you have thought of these things, but they weren't mentioned in your article this time.

I'm not being critical of your article, because I agree with what you said. This is just an additional idea to mention and for others to think about.

Have a great day, Brother Cloud. Gotta go to work. So long for now.

Sincerely,

N. Johnson <n_a_johnson@prodigy.com>

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CONCLUDING REMARKS FROM BRO. CLOUD

I appreciate all of the previous comments. I agree with Pastor Tillman’s observation that the problem with many working moms in society today is a heart problem. "The problem today is not women working outside the home. Rather it is women who have abandoned their home. That the work place is filled with these women is the symptom not the cause! These women have rebelled against their God given role of taking care of their family. You could force them out of the work place and back into the home but that will not make our homes a better place. Only one thing will make our homes a better place. When they yield themselves to God's authority in this and all matters will the picture begin to dramatically refocus and improve." I say amen and amen to that.

I also share Bro. Johnson’s conviction that far too many Christian women work in the secular field today. Large numbers of women, even in strong Bible churches, are subtly influenced by the feminist philosophies that have permeated Western society. This is evident in attitudes, fashions, and hair styles. As proof, simply compare the attitude described in 1 Peter 3:4-6 with that of many Christian women today.

I also agree that it is important for older women to be available for the ministries outlined in the Word of God. They should be available to help and instruct younger women. Think, too, of all of the soul winning and discipling that could be done by women if they were free from the restraints of secular jobs. Scriptural soul winning and discipleship requires much more time than a one- or two-hour visitation program allows. It takes time for the unsaved to understand the Gospel. A half-hour "Roman’s Road" presentation is rarely sufficient, unless the individual already has been taught the Gospel. We have worked with Hindus for many years, and I know they do not immediately understand the Gospel through a brief highlighting of the main points. One has to begin with the Bible basics about the nature of God and progress carefully through biblical truth so they understand the Gospel and understand that you are not talking about merely adding Jesus to their Hindu gods, which is their first tendency upon hearing the Gospel. Repentance has to be dealt with. (By the way, there are some good materials available to assist God’s people in instructing the biblically illiterate.) My wife, Linda, has seen much fruit through the years as she has evangelized and discipled women, both in Nepal and in the States. Such a ministry requires a lot of time, not only to conduct the actual Bible studies but also to develop the personal relationships with the women that they might be saved and discipled. The church we started in Nepal would not have stood on its own feet after our 10 years there had my wife not been so effective in that ministry. She led dozens of ladies to Christ and discipled them, and the vast majority of them continue to serve the Lord (some as wives of pastors, deacons, and evangelists) 10 to 15 years later. (None of our Nepali church members in Kathmandu came from other churches; each one was saved and discipled through the ministry of that church.)

Women cannot teach men or usurp authority over men (1 Tim. 2:12), but they are very important to the ministry of the Word of God and to church work. Many women accompanied the apostles in the upper room after the resurrection (Acts 1:12-14). Paul refers to the women who labored with him in the Gospel (Phil. 4:3). Phebe assisted Paul and represented the Cenchrean church in a ministry to the church at Rome (Rom. 16:1-2). Priscilla is always mentioned when her husband is spoken of (Acts 18:2,18,26; Rom. 16:3; 1 Cor. 16:19). She assisted her husband in discipleship (Acts 18:26) and is referred to concerning the church that met in their home. Paul called her one of his helpers (Rom. 16:3).

At the same time, the point made in my article "Should Mothers Work?" was not that it is necessarily good that mothers work, but that the Bible does not necessarily restrict a mom from working in all cases. I stand by that. There are a wide range of situations which arise in the complicated business of maintaining homes and raising families and ministering the Word of God. I know of women who have worked part-time to earn money to give to missions. I know of others who worked part-time to help put their husbands through Bible college.

To be candid, I always cringe a little when I learn that a preacher’s wife is working in the secular field. I tend to think immediately about all sorts of ways she could be assisting in that ministry. At the same time, I am convinced that this is something that is between that preacher and his wife. If the Lord so led, I might try to challenge him about how much more effective his ministry could possibly be if his wife were available all of the time. I might even challenge him about what example he is giving to the rest of the church by allowing his wife to work. I would never, though, try to require (even if I had the authority) that he follow my convictions in this matter. I can’t know God’s perfect will for that couple. The wife’s secular job might be a very fruitful missionary field that God intends for her to develop. The field of nursing and care giving, for example, can be an extremely fruitful mission field. In fact, the wife’s secular job might directly further the ministry. I recall a dear Christian lady who worked a secular job for a few years to help two men plant a church in Montrose, British Columbia. One of the men was her husband, who was a partner in a very effective church-planting team. The lady’s children were already grown, by the way.

Further, I don’t believe every preacher’s (or deacon’s, etc) wife is necessarily "cut out" for an effective evangelistic and discipling ministry. To be candid, some women are simply not spiritual enough. The last thing we need is more worldly-minded, gossiping, short-haired, bossy women involved full time in the ministry! Too many churches are already overrun with this kind as it is. (Then, too, if a woman is like this, her husband is not qualified to be a pastor or deacon--1 Tim. 3:11.)

I will stop here. I believe we have analyzed this topic from the most important angles. If I continue, I might get myself in big trouble!